Don't go, please
by GingerLikeDylanKeogh
Summary: Lofty is leaving his life and career in Holby behind after the recent turmoil, and it all looks rather gloomy on Dylan's side until he realises what an absolute idiot he has been. Can he make things right?
1. Chapter 1

"Oh you've said bye to Lofty then?" Zoe crashed through the staff room door, unexpectedly met with the sight of Dylan sat at the counter. He was engrossed in some files, and didn't turn to look at her once she'd entered the room.

"Yes. I have, yeah." Dylan replied blankly, not moving from his fixed position. Zoe sighed and gave a half smile, although Dylan couldn't see it. She felt an almost shared understanding of how Dylan was no doubt feeling right now.

"I know how close you two got… and how much you'll miss him." She said matter-of-factly, and waited for the reaction from her friend.

"He was just a nurse… and-and not a particularly competent one," Dylan's mouth turned downwards as the words came out of his mouth. He bit his lip, why had he even said that? Lofty was his best friend and he was leaving Dylan. And Dylan felt abandoned. This man who he thought would always be there, who was a rare breed of human who wasn't put off by Dylan's flawed ways, was leaving. And there was nothing Dylan could do to stop it. Dylan could feel his eyes welling up as soon as he'd spoken. He continued to press his lips firmly together to prevent any vulnerable emotion leaking out. Forcing his eyes to look away from the papers so they didn't give away his upset, Dylan shut the files and cleared his throat. His lip quivered as Zoe spoke.

"Oh come on, Dylan. We all knew." She stated in a knowing tone. The doctor turned to face her, screwing his face up to look confused in an attempt to hide his teary eyes.

"Knew what?" He coughed, feeling attacked by the sudden outburst. Zoe raised an eyebrow, her mouth tightening at one end to signal she was unimpressed. Leaning her back against the sink counter top, she looked at her high heels before finally granting him with a reply.

"He wasn't _just_ a nurse to you." Dylan's eyes shot wide open and he suddenly felt a pang of fear hitting against his chest.

"I-I-I don't know what you're talking about." Dylan tried to shut the conversation down; they had entered a deep area of direct emotional attack, one which he was severely uncomfortable treading water in. Zoe sighed, rolling her eyes at the man. She expected him to be honest with her. She was his only remaining friend now, after all.

"Well _I'm_ going to miss him. And I think he's really sad about going too. He came to say goodbye to me after you and he looked close to tears, bless him."

"He-he did?" Dylan blinked, furrowing his brows. Zoe nodded with the same straight tight lip drawn across her face.

"Yeah, but he's at the pub now with the guys. How come you're not there?" Dylan stared off into space for a moment before replying with a very sure look on his face.

"I'm asking myself the same question." He stood up from his chair, brushing off his shirt as he headed towards the door. He gave Zoe a small nod as he exited, which was met with a salute and a grin from her.


	2. Chapter 2

"Dr Keogh? I thought Lofty said you weren't coming!" Robyn called from near the bar.

"Ah, yes, I… er… changed my mind. Where's Ben?" Dylan asked, with a touch of urgency in his voice. Robyn frowned at him as she spoke.

"He's already gone, Dylan. He left about twenty minutes ago…" Dylan's face dropped. He was too late. Lofty was gone and now he had left their parting on bad terms. He had left their parting with a cold expression, an unreciprocated hug and an empty goodbye. Dylan regretted everything. He frantically searched the room but wasn't sure who he was looking for anymore; the only person he would have ever wanted to see was gone forever now. Or was he?

"Next train from Holby leaves in an hour. Go. Tell him everything. And do us a favour and don't cock it up this time." Robyn grinned, giving the doctor a knowing wink. The blood rushed to his face faster than his heart was beating as he realised what the nurse had just said. But this was his chance.

"Thank you." He almost managed a smile at her. Robyn wagged a finger at him.

"Tell him _everything_. Now hurry or you'll miss him." She smirked, almost pushing him through the door. Dylan stopped abruptly outside the pub entrance, looking both ways down the pavement. He zipped up his coat and set off walking. The station was only twenty five minutes away on foot – he could make it if he went now. But the same three words kept bouncing around in the back of Dylan's mind and it was making him panic more and more. _Tell him everything_ the words were almost drowning him. How much of everything? Everything he needed to say would be too much. But everything he needed to say would barely be enough. But Dylan carried on walking. Through the doubt and the panic and the anxiety, through the worry of how significant what he was going to do could be and the voice in the back of his mind telling him to go home, go home, go home, he walked. He refused to let this chance slip through his fingers again. _Tell him everything._


	3. Chapter 3

"Right. Platform Four. Right." Dylan paced through the station, frantically looking left and right for signs of direction. He could barely hear himself think. He became clustered in a group of commuters with miniature suitcases, and tried desperately to escape the formation, tripping over one of the cases in his attempt to get to the side lines of the platform. Stumbling to the wall, Dylan straightened up and looked around. _Where is he?_ Dylan thought. He glanced at his watch nervously; the train would be leaving in twenty minutes. He was running out of time, and his chances of finding the nurse before he got on the train were decreasing with every passing second. Dylan continued to search through the faces on the platform for the familiar warm smile he was so fond of. But he couldn't see it. _Where the bloody hell is he?_

Twenty minutes turned to ten and a fresh wave of panic washed over the doctor. Realising he was running out of options, Dylan reached for his phone. It was not exactly the most ideal way to confront Lofty, but Dylan couldn't leave things the way they were. Not again. He swiped through the practically empty contacts list until his finger was hovering over the one marked 'Ben'. Placing the device to his ear, he continued to scan the endless bodies that stood on the platform. One ring. Two rings. Three rings. Dylan counted them each time in an effort to calm himself down. His heart was pounding in his chest; he timed the call tones to his breaths.

"Dylan?" the voice on the other end sounded surprised.

"Ben!" Dylan's eyes lit up, with no attempt to hide his joy in his tone.

"What's wrong? I thought you made it clear you-"

"Before you say anything, please just tell me: are you still here in the station?" Dylan said, his voice sounded cool and sure. There was hesitation from the person on the other end of the call, then a small sigh. Barely audible, but Dylan recognised it.

"What are you doing here Dylan?" Lofty's voice sounded lined with tiredness and irritation. The doctor immediately gulped down the excitement he had previously failed to withhold in an attempt to take Lofty's feelings into consideration. He had not thought about how his friend must have felt after Dylan's cold rejection to drinks earlier. _He came to say goodbye to me after you and he looked close to tears, bless him_ Dylan was reminded of what Zoe had said to him in the staff room. He could have made the parting between them sweeter, lighter, less of a burden on Lofty's shoulders. Dylan had never considered the part of Lofty that didn't want to leave; he obviously loved working at Holby, and couldn't just decide to throw it all away without missing the people he loved most here.

"I'm sorry. For everything. For not supporting your decision to leave, and for not making the farewell any easier for you. I'm sorry."

"Dylan it doesn't-"

"No it does matter Ben, because I took you for granted while you've been here. I treat you awfully before we were friends, I called you names and questioned your ability, and I pushed you into circumstances you were perhaps not ready for. It was my fault you were put in that position with Dianne because you were not confident in yourself and yet I pressured you into leading. I should have listened to you; I was so busy trying to give you the best opportunities that I neglected your best interests. And now you're leaving. And I've found yet another way to ruin that for you too." Dylan could barely manage another sentence without stopping for breath. Everything in his head was coming out at once and without a millisecond of thought, it was being projected at the other end of the line. Suddenly, a glimpse of the familiar curly mop emerged in the distance of the crowd that lay before Dylan. He bound forward to catch it before it disappeared, still talking to the mobile in his hand.

"I should have talked to you about it before I announced it to everyone. I – I knew it was never going to be easy to explain everything to you, I just – "Lofty began, trying to make excuses. But before he could say another word he was met with firm hands. It was Dylan. Dylan was hugging Lofty.


	4. Chapter 4

"Don't go, please." Dylan begged, his face practically buried into Lofty's shoulder.

"D-Dylan I–I… Wha-what I…" the other man stuttered, unable to comprehend the sudden rush of affection he was receiving from his previously strictly hand-shake only companion. Dylan was holding him so tight his heart was doing backflips and he didn't know what to do. Eventually, after standing with Dylan clinging to him for a moment, a blushing Lofty was able to form a coherent sentence.

"I have to go; I can't stay here after everything that's happened."

"No you can't leave me. I don't want you to leave me as well." Dylan replied firmly, a sense of urgency in his voice. Lofty hovered for a moment before carrying on.

"W-What are you saying?" Lofty asked nervously. Why was Dylan being so upfront and direct about what he wanted now? He had never worn his heart on his sleeve with Lofty, half the time the nurse was guessing if his friend was amused or disappointed in the jokes he made, the stories he told, the ideas he pitched. But this was different. It was like Dylan had woken up. After hugging him for what seemed like hours, Dylan finally stood to face Lofty. He tried to keep eye contact as much as possible to convince the other that he was sure of what he was saying. _Tell him everything_ Dylan took a deep breath before he began.

"When you came to say goodbye earlier I did what I do best – I closed myself off. You said you were leaving and I shut down because you are the one person I was sure was going to be with me for a long time. I've grown accustom to seeing you every day, I can't just brush that off. I-I just don't do things that way. I tried not to get attached, I really did. But you just kept being you and I just… I don't know. I've realised over the course of the time we've spent together that my feelings for you go beyond what I had previously thought. Everybody I have ever cared about, ever _loved,_ has left me, and I refuse - I refuse to let you go too."

The two men stood for a moment in silence, as Lofty tried to process everything his friend had just told him. His face was the picture of shock and confusion, barely twitching and in deep thought. Dylan began to regret his sudden outburst, before Lofty finally spoke.

"Then come with me."


End file.
